Read this. It is a 100% challenge that u will have a wrong answer to the question asked in the passage unless ofcourse you already know the answer.
Once there was loving couple traveling in a bus in a mountainous area. They decided to get down at some place. After the couple got down at some place the bus moved on. As the bus moved on a huge rock fell on the bus from the mountain and crushed the bus to crumbs. Everybody on board was killed.
The couple upon seeing that said:We wish we were on that bus. Why do u think they said that?
Scroll down for answer
Come on think again.......
Come on try hard.....
Come on try hard.....
Come on try hard.....
------------------- Answer!!!! -------------------
If they had remained on the bus instead of deciding to get down the resulting time delay could have been avoided and the rock would have fallen after the bus had passed...!!!
Think positive in life always and look for opportunities when u can help others.
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Good Psychology Test
Horrible PJs
Yes you can................
Can't answer..........scroll down
... scroll...
A - The other 9 fish are crying.................
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A women goes in an Auto (rickshaw) and gets bald??? How???
Lets C' if you can solve this one....
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Can't think...c'mon...
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Here goes the answer...
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.Automatically ( Auto-Mein-Takli).....:)-
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Once 5 CHIPKALIs (house lizards) :
Phulwa
Raam Pyaari
Raam Dulari
Raam Puri
and RaamChuri
WHY ???
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.not getting very simple yaar..
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coz they all started clapping !!!!
Ek Aur PJ Isse kehte hain.........
Gattu ek lecture attend karta hai. Lecture ke baad use bhookh lagti hai. so he goes to the canteen. canteen mein gattu ek pav leta hai. Jaise hi woh pav khane ke liye uthata hai to dekhta hai ki uski plate mein "jannat" likha hai.
To janaab ab aapko yeh batana hai ki gattu jiska lecture attend karke aa raha hai, us proffessor ka naam kya hai???
guess
scroll down for the answer
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The answer is
Ishq Ki Chhaon.
Jinke "Sir" ho "Ishq ki Chhaon"
"Pav" ke neeche "Jannat" hogi....
Don't scratch ur head this is a song from film "Dil Se"
One More
What wud u call a Gal who never laughs....?
...and the Answer is..........
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HASINA !
Whatz a PJ ?
Obviously "a poor joke"
Whatz a (P + i J)?
- A "complex poor joke"
Why don't people laugh on a "complex poor joke" ?
scroll down for answer.......
more boss....
Bcoz the joke part of it is imaginary.
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Question: You are in a boat in the middle of a river. You have 2 cigarettes and have to light any one cigarette. You don't have anything else with you in the boat? How will you do it?
Answer: Take one cigarette and throw it in the water. So the boat will become LIGHTER........using this LIGHTER you can light the other cigarette another deadly answer.
Another solution: You throw a cigarette up and catch it. Catches win Matches. Using the matches that you win you can light the cigarette
If that was not enough one more deadly answer....
scroll down
Take water in your hand and drop it drop by drop...(TIP - TIP)
"TIP TIP barsa Pani.
Pani ne aag lagayee."
us aag se hamne cigarette jalayee".
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A railway station beggar meets another beggar.
A software engineer meets another software engineer.
Both of them ask the same question to each other.
What is the question?
"So which platform are you working on?"
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Question: Two hairs on a bald man's head fall in love with each other and want to get married but cannot. Why?
Ans: Because under Indian laws baal vivaah is illegal.
A Different Love Letter & A Beautiful Reply To It
A teenage college guy sent a love letter (in Q/A format) to his classmate.
My Dearest Reshma
Please answer the following questionnaire. For Options
(b) 5marks and
(c) 3 marks.
1) Whenever you enter the class room your sight always falls on me because:
(b) you couldn't control seeing me
(c) really ... am I doing it?
2) Whenever professor cracks joke you laugh and turn and look at me because:
(a) you always like to see me smiling
(b) you are testing whether I like jokes
(c) you are attracted by my smile
3) When you were singing in the class I entered and immediately you stopped singing because:
(a) you are so coy to sing before me
(b) my presence influenced you
(c) you feared that whether I'll like your song
4) When you were showing your childhood photo when I asked for it you hide it because:
(a) you felt ashamed
(b) you felt uneasy
(c) you don't know
5) During trekking myself and my friend gave you hand for lifting you and you took only my friend's because:
(a) you enjoyed my disappointment
(b) you won't feel leaving my hand after grabbing
(c) you don't know
6) You were waiting yesterday for bus and didn't get into your bus...
(a) you were waiting for me
(b) you were dreaming about me and didn't notice the bus
(c) that bus was crowded
7) You introduced me to your parents when they came to college because:
(a) I am going to be your groom
(b) you just want to know what your parents think about me
(c) just you felt like introducing me to them
8) I told that I like girls wearing roses. Next day you came with a rose on your head because:
(a) to fulfill my wish
(b) you like roses
(c) by chance you got a rose
9) On that day it was my birthday. you too came to temple early at 6:00 A.M because:
(a) you want to pray along with me
(b) you want to meet me before any one could meet on my birthday
(c) you want to wish me at temple because you are spiritual.
If you have scored more than 40 then you are loving me. Don't delay in expressing it.
If you have scored between 30 and 40 love is budding in your heart and it's getting ready to bloom.
If you have scored less than 30 you are in confusion whether to love me or not.
Eagerly awaiting your reply..
Love
Aakash
Please answer the following Yes/No questionnaire.
1) If somebody sits in the first row normally people entering the class sees them.
(a) Yes
(b) No
2) If a girls laughs and looks anyone is it love?
(a) Yes
(b) No
3) While singing if somebody forgets lines of the songs will he/she stop singing or not?
(a) Yes
(b) No
4) I was showing to my friends (who are all girls) my childhood photo. You poked your nose inside..... right ?
(a) Yes
(b) No
5) I avoided to hold your hand during trekking. Couldn't you understand yet?
(a) Yes
(b) No
6) Should I not wait for my best friend (Anjali) at the bus stand?
(a)Yes
(b) No
7) Shouldn't I introduce you to my parents as a friend?
(a) Yes
(b) No
8) You have said you also like Lotus cauliflower banana's flower. Is it true ?
(a) Yes
(b) No
9) Oh was that your birthday. That's why I could see you in temple. I come daily to Temple. Do you know?
(a) Yes
(b) No
If you have answered "Yes" to any of the question then I am not loving you.
If you have answered "No" then you don't know the meaning of Love.
Hope everything is clear to you.
Reshma
Quotes From The Fifties
1) "I'll tell you one thing, if things keep going the way they are, it's going to be impossible to buy a weeks groceries for $20."
2) "Have you seen the new cars coming out next year? It won't be long when $5000 will only buy a used one."
3) "If cigarettes keep going up in price, I'm going to quit. A quarter a pack is ridiculous."
4) "Did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter?"
5) "The Government is wanting to get its hands on everything. Pretty soon it's going to be impossible to run a family business or farm."
6) "If they raise the minimum wage to $1, nobody will be able to hire outside help at the store."
7) "When I first started driving, who would have thought gas would someday cost 40 cents a gallon. Guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage."
8) "Kids today are impossible. Those duck tail haircuts make it impossible to stay groomed. Next thing you know, boys will be wearing their hair as long as the girls."
9) "Also, their music drives me wild. This 'Rock Around The Clock' thing is nothing but racket."
10) "Pretty soon you won't be able to buy a good 10 cent cigar."
11) "I read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century. They even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas."
12) "Did you see where some baseball player just signed a contract for $75,000 a year just to play ball? It wouldn't surprise me if someday they'll be making more than the president."
13) "Do you suppose television will ever reach our part of the country?"
14) "I never thought I'd see the day all our kitchen appliances would be electric. They are even making electric typewriters now."
15) "It's too bad things are so tough nowadays. I see where some married women are having to work to make ends meet."
16) "It won't be long before young couples are going to have to hire someone to watch their kids so they can both work."
17) "I'll tell you one thing. If my kid ever talks back to me, they won't be able to sit down for a week."
18) "Did you know the new church in town is allowing women to wear slacks to their service?"
19) "Next thing you know is, the government will start paying us to not grow crops."
20). "Thank goodness I won't live to see the day when the Government takes half our income in taxes. I sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress."
21). "Why in the world would you want to send your daughter to college? Isn't she going to get married? It would be different if she could be a doctor or a lawyer."
22) "There is no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend. It costs nearly $15 a night to stay in a hotel."
23) "Anymore no one can afford to be sick; $35 a day in the hospital is too rich for my blood."
24) "If a few idiots want to risk their necks flying across the country that's fine, but nothing will ever replace trains."
25) "I don't know about you but if they raise the price of coffee to 15 cents, I'll just have to drink mine at home."
26). "If they think I'll pay 50 cents for a hair cut, forget it. I'll have my wife learn to cut hair."
27) "We won't be going out much anymore. Our sitter informed us she wants 50 cents an hour. Kids think money grows on trees."
28) "Cars that dim their lights by sensors, automatic transmissions, and who knows what else? Pretty soon they will drive themselves."
Monday, June 13, 2005
Love Marriage Vs. Arranged Marriage
| Love Marriage | Arranged Marriage |
|---|---|
Resembles | Similar to |
It is a | Requirements are well defined so use of |
Family | |
Client expectations include exciting feature as spouse cooking food, washing clothes etc. | All these features are covered in the SRS as required features. |
Acceptance test possible you can | Product is sold on an |
Love Marriage is like | Arranged Marriage is like |
New Format For Doctoral Thesis
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It gives me great relief to flee from the Department of _________ at _______________University where I have wasted the last ______ years loitering on this project. I sincerely want to express my deep unexpressed feelings (hatered, disgust, rancour, frustration, mallice.........! @#$$#.) towards my guide Prof. _________________, whose useless suggestions, ignorance, negligence and continual cribbing have given this project its current distorted shape.
Every long and vague discussions with him have left me more confused, shattering my fragile fundamentals. All the goals laid down by him were completely ambiguous which totally contradicted those laid down by the co-guide.
I will also like to extend my disgust to those who have uncessarily showed undue interest in this project by poking their noses and hammering suggestions in areas which did not in any way concern them.
The final manuscript of this report is screwed up by my guide and co-guide without reading a single line of the report. Their destructive criticism and sardonic and superfluous remarks coupled with shabby grammar are greatly depriciated.
All assistants and lab personnel have put in their best efforts to make matters from bad to worse.
Lastly I would like to thank all my friends for providing competent atmosphere to set high scores in all the computer games and helping me to endure through this catastrophe.
A battered Ph.D Soul
Guy Rules
They all make serious sense.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work!
For Gods sake Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can - to give them a laugh.
Pass this to as many women as you can - to give them an education!!!
For gals : If these don't apply to your guy then you probably aren't meeting one !!!
Saturday, June 11, 2005
Stranded at an Island
A. 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
B. 2 French men and 1 French woman
C. 2 German men and 1 German woman
D. 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
E. 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
F. 2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman
G. 2 American men and 1 American woman
H. 2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman
1 month later, on various parts of the island, the following was observed:
A. One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.
B. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together.
C. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman.
D. The two Greek men are sleeping together, and the Greek woman is cooking & cleaning for them.
E. The two Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and a long look at the Polish woman, and they started swimming.
F. The two Mexican men are talking to all the other men on the island trying to sell them the Mexican woman.
G. The American woman is lecturing on the true nature of feminism, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much better, and how her relationship with her mother is improving. The two American men are contemplating suicide.
H. The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the Indian woman.
Tandem Story
"Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
"The following was actually turned in by two of my English students:
Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name deleted).
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THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca)
At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.
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(second paragraph by Gary)
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent! one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,....", he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
(Rebecca)
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her south, when the days had passed hurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no vision to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?", she pondered wistfully.
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(Gary)
Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anudrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anudrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion,which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
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(Rebecca)
This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semiliterate adolescent.
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(Gary)
Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of @#%^&*@ TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels."
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(Rebecca)
@#$%^&*
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(Gary)
#$%^&
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(TEACHER)
I really liked this one! Only group to get an A+
A Wonderful Son
Dear Son, I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.Love, Dad
Shortly, the old man received this telegram: "For Heaven's sake, Dad, don't dig up the garden!! That's where I buried the GUNS!!"
At 4 a.m. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns. Confused,the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asked him what to do next.
His son's reply was: "Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad.. It's the best I could do for you fromhere."
Moral:NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DOSOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART YOU CAN DO IT. IT IS THE THOUGHT THAT MATTERS NOT WHERE YOU ARE OR WHERE THE PERSON IS.
THINK ABOUT THIS. MAY BE IN THIS WAY WE ALL COULD BE VERY CLOSE TO EACH OTHER IN OUR HEARTS.
