Things I'd Like to Hear, Just Once

From my auto mechanic:

• "That part is much less expensive than I thought."
• "I've never seen anyone maintain his car as well as you do."
• "You could get that done more cheaply at the garage down the street."
• "It was just a loose wire. No charge."

From my son's preschool teacher:

• "Everyone misbehaved today except Michael."
• "Michael traded his candy bar for carrot sticks."
• "I wish we had 20 Michaels."

From a store clerk:

• "The computerized cash register is down. I'll just add up your purchases with a pencil and paper."
• "I'll take a break after I finish waiting on these customers."
• "We're sorry we sold you defective merchandise. We'll pick it up at your home and bring you a new one or give you a complete refund, whichever you prefer."

From my doctor:

• "Of course I'll come by your house to check on you."
• "Give me a call at home over the weekend if you're not feeling better."
• "Sure, come on by this afternoon, we'll work you in."
• "I'll call ahead and let them know the most you will pay for that test."
• "Here, take these samples."
• "Don't worry about it, there's no charge for that."
• "I recommend you get a second opinion."

From a contractor:

• "Whoever worked on this before sure knew what he was doing."
• "I think I came in a little high on that estimate."

From my dentist:

• "I think you're flossing too much."
• "I won't ask you any questions until I take the pick out of your mouth."

From a restaurant server:

• "I think it's presumptuous for a waiter to volunteer his name, but since you ask, it's Tim."
• "I was slow and inattentive. I cannot accept any tip."