Sunday, November 27, 2005
Friday, November 25, 2005
Humor of the Famous Revisited
[1] Sometimes, when I look at my children, I say to myself, "Lillian, you should have remained a virgin." - Lillian Carter (mother of Jimmy Carter)
[2] I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall." - Eleanor Roosevelt
[3] Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. - Mark Twain
[4] The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns
[5] Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge
[6] Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain
[7] What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce. - Mark Twain
[8] By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates
[9] I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx
[10] My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante
[11] The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things. - Jilly Cooper
[12] I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
[13] Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. - Alex Levine
[14] Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. - Mark Twain
[15] My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Ed Furgolm-joshi
[2] I had a rose named after me and I was very flattered. But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalog: "No good in a bed, but fine against a wall." - Eleanor Roosevelt
[3] Last week, I stated this woman was the ugliest woman I had ever seen. I have since been visited by her sister, and now wish to withdraw that statement. - Mark Twain
[4] The secret of a good sermon is to have a good beginning and a good ending; and to have the two as close together as possible. - George Burns
[5] Santa Claus has the right idea. Visit people only once a year. - Victor Borge
[6] Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint. - Mark Twain
[7] What would men be without women? Scarce, sir...mighty scarce. - Mark Twain
[8] By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher. - Socrates
[9] I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. - Groucho Marx
[10] My wife has a slight impediment in her speech. Every now and then she stops to breathe. - Jimmy Durante
[11] The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness and kindness, can be trained to do most things. - Jilly Cooper
[12] I have never hated a man enough to give his diamonds back. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
[13] Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat. - Alex Levine
[14] Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first. - Mark Twain
[15] My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Ed Furgolm-joshi
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Response To The Guy Rules
If you haven't read the previous post, read it first. Still, I am copying them here itself to avoid your weight-loss by having to click a few more buttons (since it is a compilation of two earlier posts).
The Guy's Side of the Story
Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's
up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't
hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of
the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to
think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle
hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do
not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost
every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving
it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are
for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a
doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7
days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don 't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one
of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you
want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do
it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither
do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will
act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is
just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you
wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun
formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep
on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind
that? It's like camping.
And here's the response:
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big boy. If it's down, put it up. We need it down, you need it down. You don't want to kiss a girl who's been IN the toilet.
1. Is there some law that you can only watch sports on Sunday? They come on other days and actually, it's more fun to spread them out over a period of seven days rather than watching them all at once.
1. No, shopping is not a sport, but without it you wouldn't have the junk food you like to cram into your mouth while watching sports.
1. Crying is blackmail and it works!
1. We ask for what we want. We are very clear, but: It's not a subtle hint! It's not a strong hint! It's not even an obvious hint! We do just say it and you still get it completely wrong!
1. We say yes, you hear no. We say no, you hear yes. Obviously, it's a recieving problem.
1. No one asked you for sympathy. We just asked for a solution. You couldn't give it to us, so you complain that all we want is sympathy. It's not our fault you didn't have the answer.
1. Saw the doctor. He said to get rid of what's causing the headache. Your mom said you could stay with her for awhile.
1. "In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days." Great! I guess I can buy those expensive pairs of shoes now!
1. Don't worry, you would never pass for a soap opera guy in a million years.
1. If you think you're as big as the next fat guy, don't ask us. You probably are.
1. So, it either makes us sad or angry. If its not one, it's the other. Neither is a good solution. Work on it.
1. When we ask how to do it, we just want to be sure that you know we are once again doing something that you should've done in the first place.
1. Why talk during the commercials? That's when you make your refrigerator or bathroom run and you hate it when we follow you into the bathroom.
1. Christopher Columbus got lost.
1. Then, you won't mind if I buy you a peach shirt, since you can't see the color anyway!
1. We say nothing to avoid having to listen to you moan about us having problems. Listening to you moan is worse than having our own problems.
1. If we ask a question we don't want an answer to, it's most likely a rhetorical question. Don't know what a rhetorical question is? Look it up in the dictionary or go back to high school English.
1. If anything we wear is fine, stop complaining about what we wear!
1. When we ask what you're thinking, it's usually because you've asked us what we're thinking or yes, we do want to discuss baseball.
1. You need more clothes.
1. You need more shoes.
1. If you are comfortable being round, don't complain when we aren't as "skinny" as the model in the magazine.
1. Of course it's like camping, because in camping you sleep on something that is not quite as long as you are. You don't get the couch, bucko, you get the love seat.
The Guy's Side of the Story
Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's
up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't
hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of
the tides. Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to
think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle
hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do
not work! Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost
every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving
it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are
for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a
doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7
days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don 't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one
of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you
want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do
it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither
do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color.
Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will
act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is
just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you
wear is fine...Really.
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun
formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep
on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind
that? It's like camping.
And here's the response:
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big boy. If it's down, put it up. We need it down, you need it down. You don't want to kiss a girl who's been IN the toilet.
1. Is there some law that you can only watch sports on Sunday? They come on other days and actually, it's more fun to spread them out over a period of seven days rather than watching them all at once.
1. No, shopping is not a sport, but without it you wouldn't have the junk food you like to cram into your mouth while watching sports.
1. Crying is blackmail and it works!
1. We ask for what we want. We are very clear, but: It's not a subtle hint! It's not a strong hint! It's not even an obvious hint! We do just say it and you still get it completely wrong!
1. We say yes, you hear no. We say no, you hear yes. Obviously, it's a recieving problem.
1. No one asked you for sympathy. We just asked for a solution. You couldn't give it to us, so you complain that all we want is sympathy. It's not our fault you didn't have the answer.
1. Saw the doctor. He said to get rid of what's causing the headache. Your mom said you could stay with her for awhile.
1. "In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days." Great! I guess I can buy those expensive pairs of shoes now!
1. Don't worry, you would never pass for a soap opera guy in a million years.
1. If you think you're as big as the next fat guy, don't ask us. You probably are.
1. So, it either makes us sad or angry. If its not one, it's the other. Neither is a good solution. Work on it.
1. When we ask how to do it, we just want to be sure that you know we are once again doing something that you should've done in the first place.
1. Why talk during the commercials? That's when you make your refrigerator or bathroom run and you hate it when we follow you into the bathroom.
1. Christopher Columbus got lost.
1. Then, you won't mind if I buy you a peach shirt, since you can't see the color anyway!
1. We say nothing to avoid having to listen to you moan about us having problems. Listening to you moan is worse than having our own problems.
1. If we ask a question we don't want an answer to, it's most likely a rhetorical question. Don't know what a rhetorical question is? Look it up in the dictionary or go back to high school English.
1. If anything we wear is fine, stop complaining about what we wear!
1. When we ask what you're thinking, it's usually because you've asked us what we're thinking or yes, we do want to discuss baseball.
1. You need more clothes.
1. You need more shoes.
1. If you are comfortable being round, don't complain when we aren't as "skinny" as the model in the magazine.
1. Of course it's like camping, because in camping you sleep on something that is not quite as long as you are. You don't get the couch, bucko, you get the love seat.
The Guy's Side of the Story
(Note: This one is a continuation an earlier post. I have deleted the repeats, so only two more points are left. Read the previous post if you liked this one.)
Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Please note...these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Tuesday, November 15, 2005
Coolest Illusion
If you watch the below images from your seat in front of the computer, Mr.Angry is on the left, and Mrs.Calm is on the right.
Get up from your seat, and move back 12 feet, and PRESTO!! they switch places!!
I believe this illusion was created by Phillippe G.Schyns and Aude Oliva of the Univ. of Glasgow.
This proves that we may not be seeing what's actually there, all the time!!
Get up from your seat, and move back 12 feet, and PRESTO!! they switch places!!
I believe this illusion was created by Phillippe G.Schyns and Aude Oliva of the Univ. of Glasgow.
This proves that we may not be seeing what's actually there, all the time!!
More On "A Woman's Dictionary"
* Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
* Bar-be-que (bar*bee*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but he "made the dinner".
* Blonde Jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
* Clothes Dryer (cloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
* Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&M's.
* Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.
* Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
* Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend a half hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
* Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again.
* Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space---if he goes in, he isn't coming out any time soon.
* Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
* Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
* Bar-be-que (bar*bee*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but he "made the dinner".
* Blonde Jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
* Clothes Dryer (cloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
* Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&M's.
* Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.
* Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
* Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend a half hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
* Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again.
* Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space---if he goes in, he isn't coming out any time soon.
* Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.
* Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Thursday, November 10, 2005
Words Women Use
FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
FIVE MINUTES: If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING: This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"
GO AHEAD: This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
THAT'S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
THANKS: A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.
WHATEVER: It's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!
FIVE MINUTES: If she is getting dressed, this is half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given 5 more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
NOTHING: This is the calm before the storm. This means "something," and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with 'Nothing' usually end in "Fine"
GO AHEAD: This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it.
LOUD SIGH: This is not actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you over "Nothing"
THAT'S OKAY: This is one of the most dangerous statements that a woman can make to a man. "That's Okay" means that she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
THANKS: A woman is thanking you. Do not question it or faint. Just say you're welcome.
WHATEVER: It's a woman's way of saying *!#@ YOU!
Tuesday, November 08, 2005
Monday, November 07, 2005
Saturday, November 05, 2005
The ABCs of Aging
A is for apple, and B is for Boat,
that used to be right, but now it won't float.
Age before beauty is what we once said,
but let's be a bit more realistic instead.
Now, A's for arthritis; B's the bad back,
C is for chest pains, perhaps cardiac.
D is for dental decay and decline;
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line.
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas, which I'd rather not mention.
H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;
I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend.
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget! What comes next?
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
Just give me a pill and I'll be good as new.
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S for sleepless nights, counting my fears.
T for tinnitus; there's bells in my ears.
U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy" you know.
W is for worry, NOW what's going round?
X is for X-ray, and what might be found.
Y is another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest that I still have--in my mind.
I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed, And I've kept twenty-six doctors fully employed!
that used to be right, but now it won't float.
Age before beauty is what we once said,
but let's be a bit more realistic instead.
Now, A's for arthritis; B's the bad back,
C is for chest pains, perhaps cardiac.
D is for dental decay and decline;
E is for eyesight, can't read that top line.
F is for fissures and fluid retention,
G is for gas, which I'd rather not mention.
H is high blood pressure--I'd rather it low;
I for incisions with scars you can show.
J is for joints, out of socket, won't mend.
K is for knees that crack when they bend.
L for libido, what happened to sex?
M is for memory, I forget! What comes next?
N is neuralgia, in nerves way down low;
O is for osteo, the bones that don't grow!
P for prescriptions, I have quite a few,
Just give me a pill and I'll be good as new.
Q is for queasy, is it fatal or flu?
R for reflux, one meal turns to two.
S for sleepless nights, counting my fears.
T for tinnitus; there's bells in my ears.
U is for urinary; big troubles with flow;
V is for vertigo, that's "dizzy" you know.
W is for worry, NOW what's going round?
X is for X-ray, and what might be found.
Y is another year I'm left here behind,
Z is for zest that I still have--in my mind.
I've survived all the symptoms, my body's deployed, And I've kept twenty-six doctors fully employed!
Thursday, November 03, 2005
Computer Help Desk
Heard by the computer help desk:
A customer couldn't get on the Internet:
Helpdesk: "Are you sure you used the right password?"
Customer: "Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it."
Helpdesk: "Can you tell me what the password was?"
Customer: "Five stars."
Helpdesk: "What kind of computer do you have?"
Customer: "A white one."
Customer: "Hi, this is Rose. I can't get my diskette out."
Helpdesk: "Have you tried pushing the button?"
Customer: "Yes, sure, it's really stuck."
Helpdesk: "That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note."
Customer: "No... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet
.. it's still on my desk... Sorry..."
Helpdesk: "Click on the 'My Computer' icon on to the left of
the screen."
Customer: "Your left or my left?"
Helpdesk: "Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: "Hello, I can't print."
Helpdesk: "Would you click on start for me and..."
Customer: "Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me!
I'm not Bill Gates, you know!"
Customer: "Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.
Every time I try, it says, 'Can't find printer'. I've even
lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor,
but the computer still says it can't find it."
Customer: "I have problems printing in red."
Helpdesk: "Do you have a color printer?"
Customer: "Aaaah... Thank you."
Customer: "My keyboard is not working anymore."
Helpdesk: "Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?"
Customer: "No. I can't get behind the computer."
Helpdesk: "Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back."
Customer: "Okay."
Helpdesk: "Did the keyboard come with you?"
Customer: "Yes."
Helpdesk: "That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is
there another keyboard?"
Customer: "Yes, there's another one here. Ahh, that one
works!"
Helpdesk: "Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple,
a capital letter 'V' as in Victor, and the number '7'."
Customer: "Is that '7' in capital letters?"
Helpdesk: "What anti-virus program do you use?"
Customer: "Netscape."
Helpdesk: "That's not an anti-virus program."
Customer: "Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer."
Customer: "I have a huge problem. A friend has put a screen-
saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it
disappears!"
Helpdesk: "How may I help you?"
Customer: "I'm writing my first e-mail."
Helpdesk: "Okay, and what seems to be the problem?"
Customer: "Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but
how do I get the circle around it?"
A customer couldn't get on the Internet:
Helpdesk: "Are you sure you used the right password?"
Customer: "Yes I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it."
Helpdesk: "Can you tell me what the password was?"
Customer: "Five stars."
Helpdesk: "What kind of computer do you have?"
Customer: "A white one."
Customer: "Hi, this is Rose. I can't get my diskette out."
Helpdesk: "Have you tried pushing the button?"
Customer: "Yes, sure, it's really stuck."
Helpdesk: "That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note."
Customer: "No... wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet
.. it's still on my desk... Sorry..."
Helpdesk: "Click on the 'My Computer' icon on to the left of
the screen."
Customer: "Your left or my left?"
Helpdesk: "Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: "Hello, I can't print."
Helpdesk: "Would you click on start for me and..."
Customer: "Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me!
I'm not Bill Gates, you know!"
Customer: "Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print.
Every time I try, it says, 'Can't find printer'. I've even
lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor,
but the computer still says it can't find it."
Customer: "I have problems printing in red."
Helpdesk: "Do you have a color printer?"
Customer: "Aaaah... Thank you."
Customer: "My keyboard is not working anymore."
Helpdesk: "Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?"
Customer: "No. I can't get behind the computer."
Helpdesk: "Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back."
Customer: "Okay."
Helpdesk: "Did the keyboard come with you?"
Customer: "Yes."
Helpdesk: "That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is
there another keyboard?"
Customer: "Yes, there's another one here. Ahh, that one
works!"
Helpdesk: "Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple,
a capital letter 'V' as in Victor, and the number '7'."
Customer: "Is that '7' in capital letters?"
Helpdesk: "What anti-virus program do you use?"
Customer: "Netscape."
Helpdesk: "That's not an anti-virus program."
Customer: "Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer."
Customer: "I have a huge problem. A friend has put a screen-
saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it
disappears!"
Helpdesk: "How may I help you?"
Customer: "I'm writing my first e-mail."
Helpdesk: "Okay, and what seems to be the problem?"
Customer: "Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but
how do I get the circle around it?"
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