You Might Be a Physics Student If

• you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.
• you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.
• you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."
• you've actually used every single function on your graphing calculator.
• you always do homework on Friday nights.
• you know how to integrate a chicken and can take the derivative of water.
• you've calculated that the World Series actually diverges.
• you hesitate to look at something because you don't want to break down its wave function.
• you have a pet named after a scientist.
• you laugh at jokes about mathematicians.
• you can translate English into binary.
• you can't remember what's behind the science-building door that says "Exit."
• you have to bring a jacket with you in the middle of summer, because there's a wind-chill factor in the lab.
• you consider ANY non-science course "easy."
• when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely that, according to Heisenberg, it could be anywhere in the universe.
• you assume that a "horse" is a "sphere" in order to make the math easier.
• you understood more than five of these indicators.
• you made a hard copy of this list and posted it on your door.

You Might Be A Physics Major

• if you have no life - and you can PROVE it mathematically.
• if you know vector calculus but you can't remember how to do long division.
• if you chuckle whenever anyone says "centrifugal force."
• if it is sunny and 70 degrees outside, and you are working on a computer.
• if you frequently whistle the theme song to "MacGyver."
• if you think in "math."
• if you have a pet named after a scientist.
• if you can translate English into Binary.
• if when your professor asks you where your homework is, you claim to have accidentally determined its momentum so precisely, that according to Heisenberg it could be anywhere in the universe.

Laws of Cat Physics

Law of Furniture Replacement
A cat's desire to scratch furniture is directly proportional to the cost of the furniture.

Law of Cat Embarrassment
A cat's irritation rises in direct proportion to her embarrassment times the amount of human laughter.

Law of Milk Consumption
A cat will drink his weight in milk, squared, just to show you he can.

Law of Cat Landing
A cat will always land in the softest place possible; often the midsection of an unsuspecting, reclining human.

Law of Cat Disinterest
A cat's interest level will vary in inverse proportion to the amount of effort a human expends in trying to interest him or her.

Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Antimatter + It Doesn't Matter.

Law of Rug Configuration
No rug may remain in its naturally flat state when a cat is present.

Law of Obedience Resistance
A cat's resistance varies in proportion to a human's desire for her to do something.

Second Law of Energy Conservation
Cats know that energy can only be stored by a lot of napping.

Law of Refrigerator Observation
If a cat watches a refrigerator long enough, someone will come along and take out something good to eat.

Law of Bag/Box Occupancy
All bags and boxes in a given room must contain a cat within the earliest possible nanosecond.

Law of Cat Magnetism
All blue blazers and black sweaters attract cat hair in direct proportion to the darkness of the fabric.