Smoking

The Toddler's Rules

* If it is on, I must turn it off.
* If it is off, I must turn it on.
* If it is folded, I must unfold it.
* If it is liquid, it must be shaken then spilled.
* If it is solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
* If it is high, it must be reached.
* If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
* If it is pointed, it must be run with full speed.
* If it has leaves, they must be picked.
* If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
* If it is trash, it must be removed, inspected and thrown on the floor.
* If it is closed, it must be opened.
* If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
* If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
* If it is a pen or pencil, it must write on refrigerator, monitor, TV or table.
* If it is full, it will be more interesting empty.
* If it is empty, it must be more interesting full.
* If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
* If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
* If it is a paper, it must be torn.
* If it has switches, they must be pressed.
* If the volume is low, it must go high.
* If it is a bug, it must be swallowed. If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
* If it is not food, it must be tasted.
* If it is food, it must not be tasted.
* If it is dry, it must be made wet.

Egg Art

U.S. Government At Work

1. In 1986 the National Park Service bought a half acre of land in southwest Washington, DC, for $230,000. In 1988 someone discovered that the Park Service already owned the land.....they bought it in 1914.
2. When $122 million was allocated for an addition to the Dirksen Office Building in Washington, DC, it went to give the senators a THIRD gymnasium.
3. According to a 1989 report by the State Department Watch, a private watchdog organization, the Department of State issued eighteen thousand travel expense checks without getting corroborating evidence for the expenses. One check for $9,000 was issued to 'Ludwig van Beethoven' whose Social Security number was listed as 123-45-6789.
4. $84,000 was approved by Congress for a project to discover why people fall in love.
5. During the 1980s Department of Defense efficiency experts saved between $27 million and $136 million each year! However, the efficiency experts cost between $150 million and $300 million each year.

Illusions

Why Worry?

The Salary Theorem

The National Leaders' Tree

The Making Of Great Men

Funny Molecules

Funny Situations

The Young And The Old

Sachin Chalisa

Would You Invest In this Company?

Can You Identify These Famous Personalities