The Toddler's Rules

* If it is on, I must turn it off.
* If it is off, I must turn it on.
* If it is folded, I must unfold it.
* If it is liquid, it must be shaken then spilled.
* If it is solid, it must be crumbled, chewed or smeared.
* If it is high, it must be reached.
* If it is shelved, it must be unshelved.
* If it is pointed, it must be run with full speed.
* If it has leaves, they must be picked.
* If it is plugged, it must be unplugged.
* If it is trash, it must be removed, inspected and thrown on the floor.
* If it is closed, it must be opened.
* If it does not open, it must be screamed at.
* If it has drawers, they must be rifled.
* If it is a pen or pencil, it must write on refrigerator, monitor, TV or table.
* If it is full, it will be more interesting empty.
* If it is empty, it must be more interesting full.
* If it is a pile of dirt, it must be laid upon.
* If it has a flat surface, it must be banged upon.
* If it is a paper, it must be torn.
* If it has switches, they must be pressed.
* If the volume is low, it must go high.
* If it is a bug, it must be swallowed. If it doesn't stay on my spoon, it must be dropped on the floor.
* If it is not food, it must be tasted.
* If it is food, it must not be tasted.
* If it is dry, it must be made wet.