Saturday, June 11, 2005

Engineering Jokes

Interviewer: Why is a thicker conductor necessary to carry a current in A.C.as compared to D.C. ?
Candidate: An AC current goes up and down (drawing a sinusoid) and requires more space inside the wire, so the wire has to be thicker.

Interviewer: How will you tell if that wall outlet carries AC or DC?
Candidate: I will put my finger in. If it is pushed away, it is AC. If it gets stuck, it was DC.

Interviewer: How will you reverse direction of an Induction motor?
Candidate: I will remove the four bolts at the base, turn the motor around, and put back the bolts.

Interviewer: How do you start a synchronous motor?
Candidate: Vrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in rising pitch)
Interviewer: Stop! Stop!
Candidate: rrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in falling pitch)

Interviewer: How do you limit surge current within an integrated circuit?
Candidate: By using a miniature circuit breaker.

External (to student) : "Why does a capacitor block DC but allow AC To pass through ?
Student: See, a capacitor is like this --- --- , OK.

DC comes straight, like this ----------, and the capacitor stops it.

But AC, goes UP, DOWN, UP DOWN and jumps right over the capacitor!"


Examiner: "What is a step-up transformer?"
Student: "A transformer that is put on top of electric poles."
Examiner (smiling): "And then what is a step-down transformer?"
Student (hesitantly): "Uh - A transformer that is put in the basement or in a pit?"
Examiner (pouncing): "Then what do you call a transformer that is installed on the ground?"
(Student knows he is caught-can't answer)
Examiner (impatiently): "Well?"
Student (triumphantly): "A stepless transformer, sir!"

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TOP FACTS ABOUT ENGINEERS


Engineers at work:

Assignments solved by one and then carry out mass transfer operations throughout the class.
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The most important machine for Engineers: Xerox Machine (Without which assignment Completion wouldn't be possible)
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Top two Engineering Rumours:

'Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm'

'Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks'

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Common Engineering Dialogues after a paper:

'What is this pal, 60% of the paper was out of the syllabus
(syllabus =>> previous year's paper & lecture notes)'

'This was the worst paper set in the entire engineering history'
'I am failing'

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GOOD ONE

Once all the scientists die and go to heaven...They decide to play hide-n-seek...Unfortunately Einstein is the one who has the den...He is supposed to count upto 100...and then start searching...Everyone starts hiding except Newton...Newton just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein...Einsteins counting......97,98,99.....100........

He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in his front...Einstein says "newtons out..newtons....out....." Newton denies and says i am not out...He claims that he is not Newton...All the scientists come out and he proves that he is not newton...how?


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His proof: Newton says:I am standing in a square of area 1m square...That means I am Newton per meter square...Hence I am Pascal...since Newton per
meter square = Pascal, Pascal is OUT.

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