You might be a caffeine addict if...

1. You think sleep is for the weak.
2. The dishes in your house are all coffee cups.
3. You believe that the coffee bean is a vegetable.
4. You've ever carried your coffee cup into the shower with you in the morning.
5. It's 6:09 AM and you're on your 2nd 20oz. cup of coffee.
6. You regard the fact that your hands are shaking as a good sign.
7. Your heart beats noticeably faster as a reaction to the smell of coffee.
8. Your heart rate is always in triple digits.
9. Mountain Dew is the stuff great decisions are made of.
10. You wake up to Mountain Dew, before switching to JOLT.
11. You can name the five flavors of JOLT.
12. You go to sleep just to wake up and smell the coffee.
13. You have to drink some form of caffeinated beverage just to sleep.
14. Your coffee pot is next to your bed and your alarm clock is in the kitchen.
15. You've given up sex, TV, or all forms of meat for Lent before, but can't make it 40 days without caffeine.
16. You've ever used the airplane's Call button just to get a coffee refill.
17. Your heart only beats twice an hour and your eyes won't shut anymore.
18. Your slogan is "Save water, drink coffee."
19. You have on more than one occasion snorted instant coffee.
20. You suck on a used coffee filter (full of coffee grounds) whenever the can runs out of coffee.

You Might Be a Bad Cook If...

•You look in a cookbook to find out how to boil water.
•The smoke alarm beeps if you even walk near the stove.
•Your family buys Pepto and Tums in bulk.
•The last time you tried to make toast the kitchen caught on fire.
•You make tuna noodle broccoli surprise for your roommate and the surprise is that it glows in the dark!
•Your food melts plastic and silverware.
•The dog goes to the neighbors' to eat.
•All your baked goods have the names "asphalt" or "Hockey puck."
•There are bones in your toast.
•All you cook seems to be left overs.
•The leftover crumbs make a great replacement for kitty litter.
•Your family automatically heads for the dinner table every time they hear the fire alarm.
•The EPA requires that all your garbage cans be marked with large bright red 'biohazard' symbols.
•Your kids know what exactly peas porridge in a crockpot nine days old tastes like.
•There's no such thing as an unusable leftover.
•You really have messed up a salad.
•The family pets are no where to be found during dinner
•Around dinnertime, the family seems really interested in going to that restaurant that always has trouble passing the health inspection.