How To Kill A Lion

Cognizant Method:

• hire a lion...
• ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do.
• give him gobi 65 to eat again and again.
• hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space to sit
• give them same gobi 65 to eat
• hire 200 more....... and more .......

TCS method:

• hire a lion
• give him hell a lot of work and pay him government salary
• lion dies of hunger and frustration

Kanbay Method:

• Hire a Cat; give him a salary of a Lion...
• Give him work of 3 Lions
• Tell him to work late and even on weekends...
• No time for food and family, automatically die

Infy method:

• hire a lion and ask him to meow like a cat ..
• he will die eventually of frustration...

IBM's metbod:

• hire a lion, give him a pink slip in an hour ...
• he dies of unemployment...

Syntel Method:-

• Hire a Cat ...
• assure him that he will eventually become a Lion once he reaches onsite and make sure that he never reaches onsite.
• Cat dies in hope of becoming a Lion....

MBT method:

• hire the lion, make him take 14 tests and tell him that if he doesn't score > 60% he will lose the job.
• lion dies of the strain?

i-Flex method:

• hire a lion???.oops cow, tell him he is a lion, send him in African safari for implementing flexcube in god forbidden territories, tell him if he comes alive he will get band movement (promotion)
• holy cow dies in fear of the real lion

COSL Method:

• hire a lion ..
• tell him to merge with Goats (polaris) and reduce his allowance...
• lion dies from fear that tommorrow he might become a goat....

Polaris Method :

• hire ..sorry....purchase a lion(COSL) ...
• change his timings...(instead of 9 AM ...change it to 8:30 AM )
• cut down his allowance (coupons etc)
• lion dies from fear of becoming CAT.....

Silverline Method:

• hire a lion, declare a scandal and dont pay him...
• he dies of hunger...

Quinnox method:

• hire the lion. either give him no work or ask for a premature delivery.
• Lion either dies of boredom or intense physical & mental activity...

Patni method:

• hire a lion, give him a salary of a cat...
• the lion dies before joining....

Nucsoft method:

• hire a lion,give him job of grass eating (IBBS Support)..
• the lion dies from lack of eating meat...

Satyam method:

• hire a lion, give him net access..
• no work..
• and deport him to Chennai centre...
• no water..
• no electricity..
• no hindi speaking ppl...
• lion dies in oblivion......

Wipro method:

• hire a lion...
• give him lots of work...
• transfer him to Wipro Lights division..
• lion dies due to Lightness...

Mastek method:

• hire a lion...
• ask him to align himself with anything and everything...
• ask him to fill complicated competency forms...
• differ increments and pay him salary of a cat...
• lion dies due to fear of getting mis-aligned or starvation...

Caritor Method:

• hire a lion...
• ask him to stay at work..
• give him vegetables to eat...
• hire 10 more lions
• give them vegetables to eat
• hire 20 more