AIRPLANE : What Mom impersonates to get a 1-yr.-old to eat strained beets.
ALIEN : What Mom would suspect had invaded her house if she spotted a child-sized creature cleaning up after itself.
APPLE : Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes.
BABY : 1. Dad, when he gets a cold.
2. Mom's youngest child, even if he's 42.
BATHROOM : A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be self-cleaning.
BECAUSE : Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically.
BED & BREAKFAST : Two things the kids will never make for themselves.
CARPET : Expensive floor covering used to catch spills and clean mud off shoes.
CHINA : Legendary nation reportedly populated by children who love leftover vegetables.
COOK : 1. Act of preparing food for consumption.
2. Mom's other name.
COUCH POTATO : What Mom finds on the sofa during Dallas Cowboy games.
DATE : Infrequent outings with Dad where Mom can enjoy worrying about the kids in a different setting.
DRINKING GLASS : Any carton or bottle left open in the fridge.
DUST : Insidious interloping particles of evil that turn a home into a battle zone.
EAT : What kids do between meals, but not at them.
ENERGY : Element of vitality kids always have an oversupply of until asked to do something.
EYE : The highly susceptible optic nerve which, according to Mom, can be "put out" by anything from a suction-arrow to a carelessly handled butter knife.
FABLE : A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.
FOOD : The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question "What's for dinner tonight?"
GARBAGE : A collection of refuse items, the taking out of which Mom assigns to a different family member each week, then winds up doing herself.
GENIUSES : Amazingly, all of Mom's kids.
GUM : Adhesive for the hair.
HAMPER : A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded by, but not containing, dirty clothing.
HANDI-WIPES : Pants, shirt-sleeves, drapes, etc.
HOMEMADE BREAD : An object of fiction like the Fountain of Youth and the Golden Fleece.
INSIDE : That place that will suddenly look attractive to kids once Mom has spent a minimum of half an hour getting them ready to go outside.
"I SAID SO" : Reason enough, according to Mom.
KETCHUP : The sea of tomato-based goop kids use to drown the dish that Mom spent hours cooking and years perfecting to get the seasoning just right.
KISS : Mom medicine.
LAKE : Large body of water into which a kid will jump should his friends do so.
MAYBE : No.
MILK : A healthful beverage which kids will gladly drink once it's turned into junk food by the addition of sugar and cocoa.
OCEAN : What the bathroom floor looks like after bath night for kids, assorted pets, two or three full-sized towels and several dozen toy boats, cars and animals.
OPEN : The position of children's mouths when they eat in front of company.
ALIEN : What Mom would suspect had invaded her house if she spotted a child-sized creature cleaning up after itself.
APPLE : Nutritious lunchtime dessert which children will trade for cupcakes.
BABY : 1. Dad, when he gets a cold.
2. Mom's youngest child, even if he's 42.
BATHROOM : A room used by the entire family, believed by all except Mom to be self-cleaning.
BECAUSE : Mom's reason for having kids do things which can't be explained logically.
BED & BREAKFAST : Two things the kids will never make for themselves.
CARPET : Expensive floor covering used to catch spills and clean mud off shoes.
CHINA : Legendary nation reportedly populated by children who love leftover vegetables.
COOK : 1. Act of preparing food for consumption.
2. Mom's other name.
COUCH POTATO : What Mom finds on the sofa during Dallas Cowboy games.
DATE : Infrequent outings with Dad where Mom can enjoy worrying about the kids in a different setting.
DRINKING GLASS : Any carton or bottle left open in the fridge.
DUST : Insidious interloping particles of evil that turn a home into a battle zone.
EAT : What kids do between meals, but not at them.
ENERGY : Element of vitality kids always have an oversupply of until asked to do something.
EYE : The highly susceptible optic nerve which, according to Mom, can be "put out" by anything from a suction-arrow to a carelessly handled butter knife.
FABLE : A story told by a teenager arriving home after curfew.
FOOD : The response Mom usually gives in answer to the question "What's for dinner tonight?"
GARBAGE : A collection of refuse items, the taking out of which Mom assigns to a different family member each week, then winds up doing herself.
GENIUSES : Amazingly, all of Mom's kids.
GUM : Adhesive for the hair.
HAMPER : A wicker container with a lid, usually surrounded by, but not containing, dirty clothing.
HANDI-WIPES : Pants, shirt-sleeves, drapes, etc.
HOMEMADE BREAD : An object of fiction like the Fountain of Youth and the Golden Fleece.
INSIDE : That place that will suddenly look attractive to kids once Mom has spent a minimum of half an hour getting them ready to go outside.
"I SAID SO" : Reason enough, according to Mom.
KETCHUP : The sea of tomato-based goop kids use to drown the dish that Mom spent hours cooking and years perfecting to get the seasoning just right.
KISS : Mom medicine.
LAKE : Large body of water into which a kid will jump should his friends do so.
MAYBE : No.
MILK : A healthful beverage which kids will gladly drink once it's turned into junk food by the addition of sugar and cocoa.
OCEAN : What the bathroom floor looks like after bath night for kids, assorted pets, two or three full-sized towels and several dozen toy boats, cars and animals.
OPEN : The position of children's mouths when they eat in front of company.
No comments:
Post a Comment