You know it's going to be a BAD DAY when...
* You wake up face down on the pavement.
* You jump out of bed in the morning and miss the floor.
* You turn on the morning news, and they're showing emergency routes out of your city.
* Your bar of Ivory soap sinks.
* You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
* The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
* Your horn gets stuck when you're following a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
* You get to work and there's a 60 Minutes news team waiting in your outer office.
* Your four-year-old wakes you up with the news that it's almost impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet.
* Your boss tells you not to bother to remove your coat.
* Your pet rock snaps at you.
* Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
* You wake up to discover that your waterbed broke, and then realize that you don't have a waterbed.
* Your income tax refund check bounces.
* Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to chocolate.
* Your blind date turns out to be your ex-spouse.
* You wake up face down on the pavement.
* You jump out of bed in the morning and miss the floor.
* You turn on the morning news, and they're showing emergency routes out of your city.
* Your bar of Ivory soap sinks.
* You put both contact lenses in the same eye.
* The bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
* Your horn gets stuck when you're following a group of Hell's Angels on the freeway.
* You get to work and there's a 60 Minutes news team waiting in your outer office.
* Your four-year-old wakes you up with the news that it's almost impossible to flush a grapefruit down the toilet.
* Your boss tells you not to bother to remove your coat.
* Your pet rock snaps at you.
* Your twin sister forgets your birthday.
* You wake up to discover that your waterbed broke, and then realize that you don't have a waterbed.
* Your income tax refund check bounces.
* Your doctor tells you that you're allergic to chocolate.
* Your blind date turns out to be your ex-spouse.
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