Sunday, February 24, 2008

Lost in the Translation

  • In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery: "You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday."
  • In a Rhodes tailor shop: "Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict rotation."
  • Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly: "There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the past two years."
  • In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: "We take your bags and send them in all directions."
  • On the door of a Moscow hotel room: "If this is your first visit to the USSR, you are welcome to it."
  • In the office of a Roman doctor: "Specialist in women and other diseases."
  • In an Acapulco hotel: "The manager has personally passed all the water served here."
  • In a Tokyo shop: "Our nylons cost more than common, but you'll find they are best in the long run."
  • Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance: "English well talking." "Here speeching American."
  • Sign in a hotel corridor in Istanbul: "Please to evacuate in hall especially which is accompanied by rude noises."
  • In a Tokyo bar: "Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts."
  • At a Budapest zoo: "Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food, give it to the guard on duty."
  • Detour sign in Kyushi, Japan: "Stop: Drive Sideways."
  • On the faucet in a Finnish washroom: "To stop the drip, turn cock to right."
  • In the window of a Swedish furrier: "Fur coats made for the ladies from their own skin."
  • In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency: "Take on of our horse-driven city tours -- we guarantee no miscarriages."
  • In a Vienna hotel: "In case of fire, do your utmost to alarm the hotel porter."

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