February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels, duh, bottles won't fit in typewriter!
March - Got excited...finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months...box said "2-4 years!"
April - Trapped on escalator for hours...power went out!
May - Tried to make Kool-Aid but 8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!
June - Tried to go water skiing - couldn't find a lake with a slope.
July - Lost breast-stroke swimming competition. I learned later that other swimmers cheated, they used their arms.
August - Got locked out of car in rainstorm...car swamped because top was down.
September - Lost a TV quiz show. The capital of California is "C" isn't it?
October - Hate M & M's - they are so hard to peel.
November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days...instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!
December - Couldn't call 911, duh, there's no "eleven" button on the phone!
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