Beware of the following new computer viruses!
ADAM AND EVE VIRUS - Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS - You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
DOLLY PARTON VIRUS - It sounds pretty good, but you'd swear your monitor looks larger and have more knobs than it used to. DEFLATE.COM removes it.
FREUDIAN VIRUS - Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying it's own motherboard. Becomes very jealous of the size of your friend's hard drive.
HEALTH CARE VIRUS - Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.
JEFFREY DAHMER VIRUS - Eats away at your systems resources piece by piece.
JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS - Nobody can find it. Your programs can never be found again.
KEVORKIAN VIRUS - Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to. Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them.
MAFIA VIRUS - You don't want it, but you're afraid to get rid of it.
MARTHA STEWART VIRUS - Takes all your files, sorts them by category and folds them into cute little doilies to be displayed on your desktop.
MIKE TYSON VIRUS - Quits after one byte.
MONICA LEWINSKY VIRUS - It sucks the juice out of your system, but only affects laptops. Then, it emails everyone about what it did. This later activates the Independent Counsel virus.
PROZAC VIRUS - Screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
STAR TREK VIRUS - Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.
ADAM AND EVE VIRUS - Takes a couple of bytes out of your Apple.
AIRLINE LUGGAGE VIRUS - You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.
DOLLY PARTON VIRUS - It sounds pretty good, but you'd swear your monitor looks larger and have more knobs than it used to. DEFLATE.COM removes it.
FREUDIAN VIRUS - Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying it's own motherboard. Becomes very jealous of the size of your friend's hard drive.
HEALTH CARE VIRUS - Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for $4,500.
JEFFREY DAHMER VIRUS - Eats away at your systems resources piece by piece.
JIMMY HOFFA VIRUS - Nobody can find it. Your programs can never be found again.
KEVORKIAN VIRUS - Helps your computer shut down whenever it wants to. Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them.
MAFIA VIRUS - You don't want it, but you're afraid to get rid of it.
MARTHA STEWART VIRUS - Takes all your files, sorts them by category and folds them into cute little doilies to be displayed on your desktop.
MIKE TYSON VIRUS - Quits after one byte.
MONICA LEWINSKY VIRUS - It sucks the juice out of your system, but only affects laptops. Then, it emails everyone about what it did. This later activates the Independent Counsel virus.
PROZAC VIRUS - Screws up your RAM, but your processor doesn't care.
STAR TREK VIRUS - Invades your system in places where no virus has gone before.
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