* I was thinking about how a status symbol of today is those cell phones that everyone has clipped onto their belt or purse. I can't afford one, so I'm wearing my garage door opener.
* You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.
* I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!
* I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'
* I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it "Pumping Rust."
* I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!
* I was thinking, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"
* Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of an emergency.' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"
* You know, I spent a fortune on deodorant before I realized that people didn't like me anyway.
* I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans!
* I was thinking about old age and decided that old age is 'when you still have something on the ball, but you are just too tired to bounce it.'
* I thought about making a fitness movie, for folks my age, and call it "Pumping Rust."
* I have gotten that dreaded furniture disease. That's when your chest is falling into your drawers!
* I was thinking, when people see a cat's litter box, they always say, "Oh, have you got a cat?" Just once I want to say, "No, it's for company!"
* Employment application blanks always ask 'who is to be notified in case of an emergency.' I think you should write, "A Good Doctor!"
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