"NO PHONE CALLS PLEASE": We've filled the job; our call for resumes is just a legal formality.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE": You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST": You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS": You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS": Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
"I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION": I've used Microsoft Office.
"I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE": I pilfer office supplies.
"MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES": I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.
"I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK": I blame others for my mistakes.
"I'M PERSONABLE": I give lots of unsolicited personal advice.
"I'M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL": I carry a Day-Timer.
"I AM ADAPTABLE": I've changed jobs a lot.
"I AM ON THE GO": I'm never at my desk.
"I'M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED": The minute I find a better job, I'm outta here.
"COMPETITIVE SALARY": We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED": You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED": Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY": Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL": We have no quality control.
"SEEKING CANDIDATES WITH A WIDE VARIETY OF EXPERIENCE": You'll need it to replace three people who just left.
"PROBLEM-SOLVING SKILLS A MUST": You're walking into a company in perpetual chaos.
"REQUIRES TEAM LEADERSHIP SKILLS": You'll have the responsibilities of a manager, without the pay or respect.
"GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS": Management communicates, you listen, figure out what they want and do it.
"I'M EXTREMELY ADEPT AT ALL MANNER OF OFFICE ORGANIZATION": I've used Microsoft Office.
"I'M HONEST, HARD-WORKING AND DEPENDABLE": I pilfer office supplies.
"MY PERTINENT WORK EXPERIENCE INCLUDES": I hope you don't ask me about all the McJobs I've had.
"I TAKE PRIDE IN MY WORK": I blame others for my mistakes.
"I'M PERSONABLE": I give lots of unsolicited personal advice.
"I'M EXTREMELY PROFESSIONAL": I carry a Day-Timer.
"I AM ADAPTABLE": I've changed jobs a lot.
"I AM ON THE GO": I'm never at my desk.
"I'M HIGHLY MOTIVATED TO SUCCEED": The minute I find a better job, I'm outta here.
"COMPETITIVE SALARY": We remain competitive by paying less than our competitors.
"JOIN OUR FAST-PACED COMPANY": We have no time to train you.
"CASUAL WORK ATMOSPHERE": We don't pay enough to expect that you'll dress up.
"MUST BE DEADLINE ORIENTED": You'll be six months behind schedule on your first day.
"SOME OVERTIME REQUIRED": Some time each night and some time each weekend.
"DUTIES WILL VARY": Anyone in the office can boss you around.
"MUST HAVE AN EYE FOR DETAIL": We have no quality control.
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