A cannibal is someone who is fed up with people.
A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen today.
A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.
An actuary is someone who brings a fake bomb on a plane, because that decreases the chances that there will be another bomb on the plane.
A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.
A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that isn't there.
A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000-word document and calls it a "brief."
A psychologist is someone who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.
A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.
A committee is a body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.
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