LAW 1: No matter how bad your last shot was, the worst is yet to come. This law does not expire on the 18th hole, since it has the supernatural tendency to extend over the course of a tournament, a summer and, eventually, a lifetime.
LAW 2: Your best round of golf will be followed almost immediately by your worst round ever. The probability of the latter increases with the number of people you tell about the former.
LAW 3: Brand new golf balls are water-magnetic. Though this cannot be proven in the lab, it is a known fact that the more expensive the golf ball, the greater its attraction to water.
LAW 4: Golf balls from the same "sleeve" tend to follow one another, particularly out of bounds or into the water (see law three).
LAW 5: Golf balls never bounce off the trees back into play. If one does, the tree is breaking a law of the universe and should be cut down.
LAW 6: No matter what causes a golfer to muff a shot, all his playing partners must solemnly chant 'You looked up' or invoke the wrath of the universe.
LAW 7: The higher a golfers handicap, the more qualified he deems himself as an instructor.
LAW 8: The person you would most hate to lose too will always be the one who beats you.
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